The Personal Costs of Heterosexism

By Chuck Stewart, Ph.D.

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Often overlooked are the personal consequences of being gay or lesbian in a heterosexist society. In the research on the costs associated with discharging gays and lesbians from the military, it was found to have cost over $500 million over ten years (AP, "Pentagon Cost of Discharging Gays Put at $500 Million." Los Angeles Times, Friday June 19, 1992, p. A14). What is not discussed or cost analyzed are the lifelong costs to these individuals who have had their lives disrupted by such overt gay-bashing. And what other gays and lesbians who have been harassed from their jobs, changed careers because of hate and discrimination or just given up their aspirations for a better life? What dollar costs have they incurred?

I want to share my own story. In the early 1970s, I graduated college with a degree in Physics. I loved science and automotive engineering and started work at a Los Angeles aerospace company earning a respectable middle-class income. I applied and obtained a Secret Clearance with DOD. Within a year of starting work, I came out gay in response to our city's mayor signing an employment non-discrimination ordinance. I was the only employee out of 5,000 employees who was openly gay. Immediately, my previous excellent job performance reviews became negative, I was verbally threatened by my boss in front of many other engineers, the vice-president of the corporation grabbed me by my collar and slammed me against his office walls besides threatening my job, and finally they wanted me to falsify document to the Air Force. I quit and returned to school to work on a master's in engineering.

Two years later, I found another California aerospace job. The work was interesting and I particularly liked the commercial work on Formula-One race cars. This time, the salary placed me in the upper 15% of all American households. The supervisor who hired me had no difficulty with my being gay. Unfortunately, he was fired two years later. During the next year and a half, I did not have an immediate supervisor and I assumed control of the high temperature lab. Concurrently, the renewal of my Secret Clearance was taking extremely long. Usually a DOD renewal takes 6-months top, but mine took over 3 years. (While a clearance is pending, your work assignments are restricted thus your income is reduced.) Finally, a new supervisor was hired and immediately problems developed. I was threatened, my job performance reviews became negative and I was fired.

For the next two years I looked for work. This was during the boom period of the 1980s when every company courted you with lunches and dinners. During that time, I sent out over 200 resumes. Head hunters would send me out for an interview, it would go well and I would go back for a second interview, then the process would die. This happened time after time (at least twice a month) and finally one head hunter informed me that I was unhireable. The word was out that I was gay and an "activist."

I turned to public school teaching. I earned less than half of what I earned as an engineer. I enjoyed the kids and got excellent job performance reviews, but the science department chair told me it was dangerous to share that I was gay and perhaps I would do better in another occupation. After one year I quit.

I started my own retail and service business in a small northern California town. My clientele grew and I reached financial break-even, but then in one month it plummeted. The two competing businesses in town had spread the word that I was dying from AIDS and that people would catch it if they came into my store. After a year and a half, I lost everything I owned.

For two years I was unemployed and applied for engineering jobs across the nation. I sent out a total of 900 resumes, but this time it was even worse. Not one interview was granted. I thank my parents for the emotional support they gave me through this period and for allowing me to live with them. At age 38, I was totally bankrupt.

I decided I must do something about homophobia and particularly how it is reinforced in our schoolsso I returned to Los Angeles to work on a Ph.D. in Education at USC. For income, I taught science at a local junior high school. I earned less than one-third what I would if I had still been an engineer. I thought I would be safe since the education codes protect against discrimination. My being openly gay resulted in parents removing their children from my classes, parents yelling at me "what the Nazis didn't finish, AIDS will," no support from my principal or union or superintendent, and job performance evaluations that painted me to be a terrible teacher. Two other gay teachers and I were forced out of the school.

I was unemployed for 7 months. Finally I obtained a part-time teaching position as a home teacher. My income was even less than before and I resorted to massive student loans to help pay for USC. During my two and a half years on that job, I came under investigation for "gay" comments three times. The last investigation resulted in my termination.

Over the past 23 years, I have lost almost $900,000 in income because of being unemployed or having to take work outside my engineering career. Let me repeat that. I have lost almost $900,000 in lost income because of gay-bashing. That does not even begin to include lost investments, lost opportunities or lost equity. Currently, I own an old truck, rent a small one-bedroom apartment near USC and I owe $60,000 on my student loans. All this because heterosexuals attack me for being openly gay.

Often people asked why I didn't fight and sue the employers who fired me. I have learned what every poor person learns the legal system is for the rich. You may hear of lawyers who take on cases for a percentage but they still require you to pay all court fees and a retainer of thousands of dollars. And just think, you have just been fired, bills are piling in and you need to have at least $20,000 available for lawyers. Although I interviewed lawyers each time, I was never in a financial position to afford them. What about governmental agencies? Most gays and lesbians are not covered under anti-discrimination statutes and even when we are, these agencies seem unable to understand that gays and lesbians are different from heterosexuals because of how we are treated by society. Therefore, equal treatment under the law does not mean the same thing in our cases. These state agencies fail miserably. (A study conducted by me in 1996 showed that employment discrimination complaints filed with the California state agency responsible for protecting lesbians and gays were either abandoned, dismissed or withdrawn 91% of the timeonly 9% were settled in favor for the complainant.)

For my Ph.D., I investigated the effective ways to overcome homophobia within police through the teaching of sexual orientation trainings. Many people wonder why I choose the topic since my first love was physics, math, automobiles and the sciences. Look at my history. Is it no wonder why I have become a gay activist? that I want to find the most effective ways to overcome homophobia in our schools. Homophobia and heterosexism have cost me dearly. They have cost me my house, my car, my income and has taken a terrible emotional toll. Yes, I am a gay academic and activist and I do this for my peace of mind and to help the thousands (if not millions) of gay and lesbian persons who have been or will be going through what I have. My story is not unique and that is the tragedy of heterosexism. Discrimination against gays and lesbians is all too common. I wish heterosexism would end and I could return to my first love. I want to design the automobiles of the 21st Century.